Okay, What Just Happened Here?
by Fuzzyltllynx
Summary: What happens when the majority of the Joes are turned into kids? And the only ones who can protect them are their kids? And the Brats can't recognize their own parents? Rated T for some references to adult matters. Totally random fluffball.


It was a typical summer day at the Pit. Fifteen year old Jamie Barney was in the chow hall kitchen, getting ready to make some cookies for Roadblock like he had asked; and the other Brats were spread over the Pit doing whatever it was that they did.

Most of the Joes had been sent to Washington to act as security for a military technology conference and were off base.

She was stretching up to reach something in one of the upper cabinets when she felt a tug at her skirt. Looking down, she saw two little boys who couldn't have been more than five or six at the most.

One of them had dark blond hair and dark blue eyes, and the other one had dark hair and dark green eyes. Jamie didn't recognize either one of them.

"_Okay, who are these two?"_ she wondered, looking around. She hadn't heard them come in.

"Dwink, pease," asked the dark haired one. Both of them looked up at her solemnly; seriously.

Jamie looked at the other child. "Would you like one, too?"

"Pwease," he asked.

"Alright," she said, turning and getting a couple of the smaller glasses out of the closet and pouring the boys each a glass of water. She boosted them up onto a couple of the stools by the counter as they drank.

"_I know they can't be running around here by themselves. Where in the world are their parents?"_ she thought.

"So what are your names?" she asked.

"I'm Bwaine," stated the dark haired boy.

"I'm Jimbo," said the other one.

"Okay, you're Blaine and Jimbo. I'm Jamie. Where in the world are your parents?" she asked.

"Wisconsin," Jimbo declared.

"Awizona," Blaine answered.

Jamie opened her mouth to ask the boys why they were joking with her like that when her cell phone rang.

"Barney," she answered.

"Jamie," General Joseph Colton stated. "I've got a couple of little boys unaccounted for," he told her.

"Dark hair, green eyes, named Blaine, and dirty blond, blue eyes, named Jimbo?" she asked sweetly.

"Yes," he answered in surprise. "How'd you know?"

"They're here with me, in the chow hall kitchen, Sir," she told him, rolling her eyes.

"Good. Keep them with you. For the next two weeks or so, you're their guardian, and they're attached to your hips, got it?" he asked.

"I'm what?" she asked in disbelief.

"For the next two weeks, Jamie, you are their mother and you don't go anywhere without them; nor them without you. They're in extreme danger, and you are known to be one of the best bodyguards at the Pit. Keep them safe, Jamie," he ordered her. "Am I clear?"

"Yes, Sir, I understand. You're perfectly clear as crystal," she answered.

"Good. Have fun," he told her, hanging up.

She turns around as she puts her phone on the counter. "Okay, boys. It looks like you're going to be staying with me for awhile," she sighed.

They look at each other.

"We'll be good," said Blaine.

"We pwomise," Jimbo added. "Miss Jamie, what are you doing?"

"I'm making some cookies that Roadblock asked me to," she answered.

"Can we help?" Blaine asked, looking so adorable that she had to laugh.

"Sure," she told them, reaching out and ruffling their hair. Jimbo tries to duck and evade her hand, which makes them all laugh.

Not long after she'd gotten the fourth or fifth batch out of the oven, her best friend AJ came in, a young boy holding her hand.

"You, too?" she asked as she saw the two boys perched on the stools. Both of them had chocolate smeared all over their chins.

"Double whammy," Jamie replied. "How many of us are pulling bodyguard duty?"

"You, me, DJ has a little girl, Trini's got two little boys, Erica's got one boy besides Rico, Serena and Wendy have got little boys, Alex has a little girl, Mindy's got a little boy, Rory's got a boy, and Carson has a cute little boy. Pretty much all of us are doing it. Poor Ritchie has a little boy to guard," AJ answered as she sat down and pulled her little boy into her lap.

"Whoa, looks like I need to at least triple the recipe," Jamie quipped, causing AJ to burst out laughing.

"Jamie, this is Eddie," AJ stated introducing him to the other girl. "Eddie, this is Jamie. She's my best friend."

"Nice to meet you," he solemnly stated. "You're cute."

Jamie smiled even as she flushed. "AJ, this is Blaine and Jimbo. Boys, this is my best friend, AJ."

It was only a few minutes before Trini Blais, Mindy Breckenridge, and Rance Steinberg came in with their charges. Jamie handed each of the children cookies.

"Jamie, this is Bobby and Ralph," Trini told her. "Boys, this is Jamie. She's the best cook among us Brats."

"This is Matt," Mindy stated as she snagged a cookie off of the counter.

"This is Lance," Rance introduced him.

It wasn't long before Eddie fell asleep on AJ's shoulder, and Matt did the same on Mindy's.

The next morning, the PX was full of Brats, most of them buying children's clothing. A few of them had to go off-base to the mall to do their shopping. Jamie had to scrounge for her dad's keys and "borrow" her mom's car because the only choices that she had otherwise were either her dad's motorcycle or her sixty-three Corvette Stingray, which was only a two-seater. Her Jeep Grand Cherokee was in the motor pool in the process of being up-armored.

The next two weeks, the Brats' cameras got a workout. All of the little ones were just too adorable for the Brats not to take their pictures.

Most days the Brats would meet up at the playground for a couple of hours; some days they would take the kids to the pool. Several times they took the kids to the gym, which was easiest for the Brats to defend, as they were attacked by numerous groups of Cobra troopers.

Jimbo nearly had a fit when Jamie came in after one of the skirmishes, sporting a black eye. The little boy thought that it was his fault, that he had somehow caused it. Jamie managed to get him calmed down and proved to him that it wasn't his fault.

There at the pool, the female Brats quickly learned a valuable, timeless, lesson- Little boys like big girls, and little boys are quite curious about big girls.

Little Eddie made all of the Brats cringe and whimper one afternoon at the pool. He tried to do a flip off of the diving board, but mistimed it and wound up belly-flopping. Luckily, the infirmarats just happened to be right there, and they finally got him calmed down and Jamie ran to the infirmary and got a bit of salve to rub on his tummy to make it quit stinging.

Jamie had followed orders and kept the boys with her at all times. At night, when she laid down for bed, she wound up sandwiched between the two boys. She could have used her brain and gone to bed in her parents' king-sized bed, but instead wound up using her twin bed.

She woke up one morning a week or so later sandwiched between two grown men, all but crushed between them. Somehow, she managed to shimmy out from the bed without waking either of the men up.

"_Dad? Mainframe?"_ she thought in shock. "_How in the world did I manage to…Oh, no!" _ she mentally groaned.

She quickly grabbed her cell phone and called AJ.

"AJ, you're not going to believe this," she told her, trying to calm down.

"Yeah?" AJ's sleep-laced voice muttered.

"These kids are actually our parents! Blaine and Jimbo are Mainframe and my dad," she told her.

"Jesus!" AJ yelped as she rolled over to find herself nose to nose with her father, Edwin, better known as Lifeline. A loud thud told Jamie that her friend had just fallen out of the bed.

"I'll call the others, Jamie. You call Colton and find out exactly what is going on here," AJ told her.

"I'll do that while I'm getting a couple pairs of boxers. I have a feeling that my two little boys outgrew their clothes last night," Jamie laughed.

"On second thought, I'll snag Dad a pair of shorts, and then call the others," AJ agreed and hung up.

Jamie went downstairs to the kitchen and started making a pot of coffee, dialing her cell phone while she moved.

"You better have a damn good excuse for calling at this unholy hour," barked Joe Colton.

"If nearly getting suffocated between Mainframe and Grand Slam isn't a good enough excuse, General. What the hell is going on?" she grumpily growled right back at him.

He sighed. "So they're back to normal?" he asked hopefully.

"Dad and Mainframe, yes; Lifeline, yes. The others I don't know about," she replied. "What happened?

"It was an experiment that went way wrong, and the majority of the Joes were turned into young children. I was told that the effects would last one to two weeks, and I knew Cobra would be trying to get ahold of them to see if they could replicate the phenomenon. Who better to guard the Joes than their own kids, who have proven themselves up to the task?"

"You are such a nimrod," Jamie declared and hung up. "Dip," she muttered.

A thud from above told her that at least one of the men was awake.

"What the hell am I doing naked in bed with you, and whose bedroom is this?" Mainframe yelled, freaking out. He'd rolled over to find himself face to face with Grand Slam and had leaped halfway across the room when he woke up.

Jamie had to grab the doorjamb; she was laughing so hard she couldn't answer him. She closed her eyes as she entered the room.

"Here," she stated, holding a pair of shorts out to him; tossing the other pair at her dad, who was sitting on the bed.

"I got a pot of coffee brewing downstairs," she informed them.

"Thank you," both men stated at the same time.

"And Frame? It's my bedroom," she added as she slipped out of the door, headed downstairs to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Her cell phone rang with the distinctive ringtone that told her that it was her mother calling.

"Hi, Mom," she answered.

"Hey, Jamie," Cadie Barney stated. "Where's your dad at? I can't get him to answer his phone, and the last time I called, some little boys answered."

Jamie burst out laughing and almost dropped her phone. "Dad's upstairs taking care of some personal business. When you called, was it a little boy named Jimbo who answered?" she asked.

"Yeah," Cadie answered.

"I'm gonna swat that butt yet, I swear," Jamie teasingly grumbled. "Ah, for the last couple of weeks I've been babysitting two little boys, acting as their bodyguard. One of them was the one that answered the phone."

"I'll be home in a couple of hours, Jamie," Cadie told her.

"Alright, Mom. See you then," Jamie told her, hanging up.

She hands both men steaming mugs of coffee, laughing.

"You guys are so toast," she tells them.

"How's that?" Mainframe asked.

"Mom will be home in a couple of hours," she replied, then turned and looked at Grand Slam sternly. "What did I tell you about answering the phone? I told you to let me get it, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did," he admitted.

"That was Mom that called, and you're going to get it big time when she gets back," Jamie told him.


End file.
